Thursday, June 3, 2010

Insecurities creeping through

I know that after having a baby it takes a while to lose the baby weight. I was doing well with losing and then lost the energy to continue trying. My new motivation is my insecurities. I don't feel hot or sexy. I feel like I would like to just like to get surgery but can't afford that option.
I hate that he can look at other women and comment on their appearance. He doesn't see how this hurts me. I can read the words as he compliments and inquires about the other women. I shouldn't worry they say, he comes home to you. What if he isn't attracted to me? He says he is and appears interested but something is different. Maybe it's all in my head and maybe not.
Today is a really bad day and Facebook is the devil. Ugh!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Feeling loopy

So, after pregnancy you get very hormonal or at least they are supposed to be leaving your body since it is no longer inhabited by a little person. I find that I vacillitate between happy, sad and ANGRY very often. I find that I am highly overprotective and jealous! Yes, jealous. I am going to admit it. I feel fat, unsexy and finding it hard to drop the baby weight. Therefore I become this crazy person who is deep in self doubt. I DO NOT LIKE THIS PERSON! I wasn't always the most confident woman but for some reason during pregnancy I felt like the most gorgeous woman around. Must have been the hormones. Now the hormones are gone and I am left feeling exposed and insecure. I am trying to be a better woman but it is hard and feeling like my feelings aren't validated at home. This makes me angry and sad.
I needed to really find a way to vent. Even if no one ever reads this.